Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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