dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
