If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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