By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
