It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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