I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
