he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Will exercising make me less horny?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
