Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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