..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
