I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize