the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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