we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
