I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
