You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize