i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
