Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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