I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Green mimosas i think yes
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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