So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
