he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
