so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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