Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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