I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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