i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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