Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
