ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
