He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
