Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
