hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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