Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
