youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
