so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize