At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
