glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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