Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
