I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Pants are for mortals
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
