why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
