Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
