i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
