it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize