I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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