physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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