hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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