She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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