i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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