I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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