Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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