bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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