I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My breasts were aching with rage.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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