ya dads aren't the best wingmen
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
