I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
