I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
