i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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