did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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