Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
