you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
