I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
