guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
