I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
