so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
